Mastizaade review: Sunny Leone’s movie is limp and unsatisfying

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Mastizaade
Director:
Milap Zaveri
Cast:
Sunny Leone, Sunny Leone, Tusshar Kapoor, Vir Das
Rating
: 0/5

Mastizaade isn’t even a movie. For almost the entirety of its run time, it feels like getting screamed at by a pissed off plastic clown. It’s as pointless as a punctured condom. It’s as ghastly as a bad boob job. It’s like entering a lunatic pervert’s Internet search history tab and discovering only cake recipes. Let me repeat: Mastizaade isn’t a movie. It’s a bunch of sweaty sleazeballs exploiting Sunny Leone’s star power and straight up robbing your cash. Don’t let them.

Let’s be honest here. We’re friends right? Who reads a Mastizaade movie review? For those of you who want to watch this movie, a review, positive or negative is not really going to make any difference. A review for Mastizaade is as pointless as Sunny Leone in a burqa. Am I right?

So let’s get the plot out of the way first. Mind you, I use the word plot in the loosest possible sense. In other words, there isn’t one. Tusshar Kapoor and Vir Das play perverts. They do perverted things on pretty much a second-to-second basis. They make perverted ad films by day and visit anonymous meetings for sexual addiction to pick up women by night. They think of themselves as sexual superheroes and in their leisure time, stare at women with such burning concentration that they make their clothes disappear. They chalk this down to a super power (as you do) which they like to call ‘chick ray.’ It’s like X-Ray, but for chicks, geddit?

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